28. We're All Just Apes

2015-06-22

A chart details man's evolution from simian to homo sapien step by step until eventually arriving at an overweight person slouching in an easy chair staring at the smartphone in his hand, beer bottle and laptop visible on the coffee table in front of him.

Sometimes it helps to think about how we’re all just apes. Sophisticated primates though we may be, we’re basically gorillas who had too much time on our hands and figured out how to build TVs.

It wasn’t that long ago that we exited the trees and began inventing things like the loincloth, the wheel, the pointed stick, and all the rest of civilization.

It’s true that the plains have predators and there are no bills due in trees, but I get it, why it was important to leave. And maybe the scariest enemy that stalks you is fear that holds you to the comfort of familiar branches when you could be striking out to new horizons and evolving.